Friday Five - Getaway Edition

From the RevGalBlogPals site:

Suppose you were told to pack some essentials for a trip to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Describe your location, in general or specific terms....

While I love the mountains and lake, it is the beach that I crave when I need to get away. Nowhere specific, but it must include good sand for walking, a porch with a rocking chair, and quiet neighbors.

1) What book(s) will you bring?

If the last Harry Potter book isn't out yet, I would need a good big thick novel. Lightish reading, but engrossing. A good story. But no dying children please (see post below), or women dying of cancer. Any suggestions? I'm always looking.

2) What music accompanies you?

Ummm....Shawn Colvin, Indigo Girls, Springsteen, and some big booming classical music like Pictures at an Exhibition, Elgar, Holst....must listen to it while watching the waves.

3) What essentials of everyday living must you take (as in the health and beauty aids aisle variety)?

Sunscreen....lately I'm partial to the spray kind, together with the face stick. Have been using it all week on the kids what with field day and beach day, last week of school stuff. I don't need much else, really. I buy what's on sale. I do love being clean and lotioned after a sandy wind-blown day.

4) What technological gadgets if any, will you take with you or do you leave it all behind?

I would take my iPod, for the music listed above. Cellphone, but I would leave it off most of the day. If I am with my family, the walkie-talkies are useful, but we usually forget to bring them. Nothing else needed. Mr. Incredible packs a separate bag for all his gadgets: GPS, satellite radio, etc. It's part of the fun for him.

5) What culinary delights will you partake in while there?

Seafood. Any kind. All kinds. Boiled peanuts too. A good crab boil (also known by other names, I know, but can't remember any right now), where you put crab, shrimp, potatoes, corn, sausage all in a pot, then dump it out on a newspaper-covered table and dig in. Yum.

As a bonus question, what makes for a perfect day on vacation for you?

Sleeping until I wake up naturally. The beach, a good book, some good seafood, and my family. Although I can appreciate a day alone, too....

The In-Between Days

It's been 10 years. Ten times I've lived through these in-between days, the four days our oldest son lived. I haven't named him yet on this blog. I've stared at the screen for long minutes, trying to come up with a good blog name, in the spirit of our other anonymous names (WonderBoy, SuperGirl, Mr. Incredible.) Of all of us, truly he is the most super-hero-like. He lived bravely, longer than he might have. Long enough for me to hold him before he died. No name seems to sum that up. Something with "Angel" in it seems too obvious, and doesn't sound right. I want to remember him bodily, real and present, taking up space, however small, and breathing air, however much he struggled for it. I think of the few reminders of him I hold dear: his hat, a blanket, the very few pictures, and nothing seems right for a name. I think of him when I see butterflies, or shooting stars. Tulips. And a hundred other random things, none of which would capture him in a name. In truth, it is his real name I want to use, because it is spoken too seldom. And so he is Jack. For the purpose of the blog, he can be OurJack.

Because OurJack was WonderBoy's twin, these early days in June also mark WonderBoy's birthday, and our joy at becoming parents of such a miraculous child. So Day One is always about WonderBoy, his birthday. This year it was mini-golf and pizza, with peanut butter pie instead of cake. Takes after his mama, he does.

Days Two and Three are tough. Up and down, emotionally. On the one hand, they mark the days of OurJack's life. Days we had hope, days in which life seemed possible and full and remarkable. But on the other hand, these days bring the lump in my throat and the what-ifs, and if-onlys. Today is Day Three. It was his best day. He rallied a little, it seemed to us, although I think the NICU staff knew how very sick he was. Ten years of Day Threes, and I still don't know whether to celebrate or grieve, or how to do either very well.

Tomorrow is Day Four, the day OurJack died. It will be the first time in 10 years that Mr. Incredible and I aren't together on that day. We had some time together instead earlier this week. I am making plans to spend part of the day with a friend, and other kids. I hope it will be busy and fun, the first day of summer break. It is always a relief to get through these In-Between days, and I am past feeling guilty about that. These anniversaries are difficult. And necessary. The lump in the throat, the quick unexpected tears, they keep OurJack close, and real. So I am grateful for them, and for him. For what he teaches me about life and death and joy and grief, about grace and how to go on. About faith and doubt. And what really matters. And what doesn't matter at all. I still have a lot to learn. So while I am glad that these in-between days help me grow up a little, it is merciful that they only come around once a year, because this kind of growing hurts. Even ten years later.

RevGalBlogPals Friday Five

Friday 5 hopes, visions and dreams

(Picture setting sail- from Snettisham beach Norfolk, UK)

1. Think back to the time you left High School, what were your hopes visions and dreams for your life/ for the world?

I wanted to leave home, which I loved, but needed to leave nonetheless. I had college in front of me and wanted to learn, meet new people, and act in plays. Figure myself out. And then come home again (to visit.... suddenly smarter, more confident, and sophisticated like my older sister) I didn't have many plans for the world....it was all about me, then!)

2. Have those hopes visions and dreams changed a lot, or are some of them still alive and kicking? (share one if you can)

I learned. I met new people, some of them still my bestest girlfriends, lo these 20+ years later. I acted in plays, yes I did, but haven't kept it up. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wonder if the pastor and pastor's wife really could do community theater in this town. I cop out by thinking the schedule with kids would be too complicated..... I am still figuring myself out, and have come to some peace that it is a lifelong process. And I still go home again to visit: wiser, certainly, more confident, but still unsophisticated compared to my older sister and I finally don't care anymore!

3. Hebrews 11:1 " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. " Comforting, challenging or frustrating?

Oh comforting, yes. Sometimes the only comfort.

4. If resources were unlimited, and you had free reign to pursue a vision what would it be?

Write my novel(s) and live the life of a successful writer. Terribly sophisticated, of course.
OR, start a non-profit with one or more of my sisters, and live in the same town with them, our kids growing up together.
OR, start a charter school with some friends, all of us pooling our talents and interests together.

5. Finally with summer upon us- and not to make this too heavy- share your dream holiday....where, when and who with...

Some quiet beach, very blue water, a hammock and someone to bring me cool drinks and new books. Oh, and Mr. Incredible can come too. WonderBoy and SuperGirl can show up, but they better bring friends and a nanny of some kind 'cause I ain't moving from the hammock until dinner.